One of my best buds suddenly passed away recently; I’ve known him for 40 years, and it's surreal to think that he's really gone.
He was my first roomie when I left the nest while in college, and effectively was my unofficial big brother. He had a great sense of humor, which is how we initially became friends. Pat, myself and another college friend, Bob Hill, spent a lot of time together in college days, especially on Friday pub nights, Saturdays at the pubs, and I guess other nights, too. Those were good times, to be sure. One day in 1981, I mentioned to Pat that another friend of mine had backed out of finding an apartment near the college, and he immediately suggested he take his place. Pat was living in an apartment in Vanier at the time with “a bunch of ants” as he put it - plus it would cut his rental costs in half, so it was a win-win situation.
Soon after he moved in, he insisted on going out for a sandwich, and suggested smoked meat at Nate’s - I’d never had one before, but he insisted that I would love it. He was right.
One night we were up all night cramming for an Electronics 4th semester exam (while listening to Van Halen’s first LP over-and-over). It was a key/central course in the program, and one could not afford to flunk that. Neither one of us was confident going in - on the drive to the college in the morning, we were coming up to the Queensway on-ramp, and he said “Let’s forget this and go to Montreal for breakfast.” I was quiet for a second (and carefully considered it), but I came to my senses and said ‘no’ just in time, and we proceeded to the college to write the exam. As it turned out, we both did well on the exam - I guess ‘well enough’ is more accurate. That could easily have gone a different way.
I entered the college co-op program that year, so we weren’t in the same classes anymore, but still lived in the apartment - and I was ‘rich’ for the four months of my work terms, so we ate and drank better in those times.
Often, we would go our separate ways on Friday nights, and would come home to find the other asleep on the sofa or the bean-bag chair we had. One Friday I came home to him snoring away on the floor, and I quietly and slowly began to close a monkey wrench on his nose - that woke him up fast, and I had to duck a good roundhouse. Another time he found me snoring on the sofa, so he started hitting me with this stuffed teddy-bear-like snake he had - I awoke to that treatment countless times.
He told me some interesting things about his family life, including imprisoning one of his sisters in her bedroom by placing an old transformer (harmless) in front of her bedroom door. He also had some interesting and unique sayings and terminology -
- Bob the Giraffe (I can’t remember the context, but was used many times)
- ‘Wherever you go, there you are’...
- ‘A good time, not a long time’...
- ‘Losing is fine, but winning is grand’...
Eventually he graduated and got a job in Burlington, and was gone. We kept in touch though, and he was back in town occasionally, and Bob Hill and I went down to Burlington a couple of times. In 1987, the three of us met for beers at the Mayfair pub off Elgin street the day after Christmas, and decided at about midnight that we would drive to Florida the next morning. We did that, and 21 hours later, we were checking into a beach-side resort (off-season rates). During our time there, Pat and I checked out the beach, and found a pelican on the pier. Also drove down to the Kennedy Space Center - that was very cool. Later, I think the three of us may have had beers at several pubs - that was a great trip.
At about that time, his career took him to the US for several years, where I believe he did quite well financially - his analytical mind made him an excellent tech professional. He eventually wound up back in Ottawa, working for one or two tech firms. He went entrepreneurial for a couple of years, doing POS software (displacing mechanical cash registers with computers and software). I think he did quite well at that as well. After that job ended abruptly, he took a job at another Ottawa tech company, where he enjoyed more success.
After several years, he was laid off, and a government placement functionary told him to get out of tech. I thought that was bad advice, but he went with it. He then went into the home renovation business, which lasted 20+ years. He was a very skilled craftsman, much better than most. At some point 10+ years ago, unfortunate circumstances saw his fortunes change for the worse. I was very worried for him at that time, the ordeal seemed to weaken him and to visibly age him.
Eventually he got past that, and his financial situation improved somewhat. He spoke about getting back into tech off-and-on - he talked about smartphone software and IT security - he would have been a natural at either one. But he worked long hours in the reno business, and never found the time to push his way back to where he belonged professionally (that's just my opinion).
I last saw him before Christmas - I needed some plumbing work done, and he was the obvious person. He worked at my place for a couple of days - I took him to lunch, but he refused to let me pay, and insisted on paying for me. He was looking forward to spending time with his sister north of Toronto over the holidays. On his way back, there was a head-on collision that killed him instantly. What a terrible shock.
I’ll miss you, my friend, and I will not forget you... bye now...
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/algonquin-park-fatal-crash-1.6722011
https://ottawacitizen.remembering.ca/obituary/patrick-lakanen-1087067275/
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